A Moment Of Realization

Last night I slept after listening to the radio. I could still feel my hands free in my ears, with a little pinching feeling. I tried to open my eyes but they were way too heavy. Tiny little eyes were loaded with drowsiness. Suddenly I felt something dripping down my mouth. The room was dark and I was in my cozy bed in white covers. I tried to visualize what on Earth was dripping down my mouth. It was something browclock_LN-blogSpann? I had no idea. I touched my face and felt some thick fluid all over my cheek and lower jaw. Suddenly I tasted something in my mouth. Is it? No! Is it blood?

And suddenly I went blind. Sweat started pouring down my forehead. All I could think was I am going to die. The moment froze for a second. I could not speak or move. I felt like the angel of death is soon going to come and take away my soul. I will be lead to the land of lost souls. Thinking about my past, I realized that I am no good person. Never been able to find time to offer my prayers but had enough time for music and all sorts of stupidity. I had never asked for forgiveness from my Lord the way its done, wholeheartedly. What will happen now? Am I going to be led to Hell now? Soon I remembered every frightening detail of the hell I ever ever read! No! Please Allah mian forgive me! I know I had been away from you my whole life but I am your servant. Please forgive me for what I ever did and give me another chance. I swear I will make it right. I will be your slave forever! I will never miss a single prayer. Please forgive me! You are the most Merciful! Have mercy!

And tears started rolling down my eyes. The moment ended with my mother’s voice. “Wake up Beta its late.” And I took a sigh of relief. She went out after saying it. I forgot the blood thinking it was just a dream. In order to get track of time I unlocked my brand new mobile phone. My mother had apparently unveiled the curtains and I could see clearly. I came out of my covers and out of nowhere selfie mode camera opened. Oh good Lord! I had smears of blood on my face and blood was still dripping down. Mother didn’t realize because I keep my head inside my covers. I saw in the mirror. It wasn’t my mouth bleeding but my nose, and the blood was entering my mouth somehow when I was in the bed.

I cleared it up as soon as I could. But that moment of realization left many marks. I may have forgotten it considering this all a mere nightmare but somehow it managed to have a huge impact on my life. When we think we are in trouble, we seek mercy from Almighty Allah but when we are healthy and fit, we never find a moment to thank Him for every single blessing. Do we?

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Noor us Sabah Ahmed

Noor us Sabah Ahmed

An explorer of many realms but primarily a Medical student with ardent love for Literature!