“Pious Me! Proudly Proving People Wrong!”
Empty book of life is actually filled with what experience you put in!
Travelling in public transport always has been an interesting experience for me. Seeing new faces every day, meeting new people, always explaining to others where and why are you travelling? And most importantly unintentionally hearing different conversations (unintentionally because there’s little room to even breathe, then how one can reject what’s coming into the ears?). I came across quite a similar experience, again, days back when I was on way to my home.
The two young girls were talking about their likes and dislikes. This discussion got serious as they involved religion in it, just to assured one another of being right. This made me realize that we, the so called “modern” people have been quite blunt, quick as well as cruel in making allegations against others of not being religious enough, for choosing what we like and for speaking our minds what we feel to speak for. This, to me, is more than making allegation because we talk with references as well, which is shooting arrows into the air, nothing else.
This whole thing makes me think why we always try to prove others wrong rather than just accepting each other’s views. We simply should not get into the discussions if we have no or very little drive to hear what others have got to say. “Best revenge” thing always gets into our minds before we even express our thoughts fully. I totally understand sentiments come into play in serious one-to-ones, what I do not get is what and where these taunting allegations are directed to?
Though it might have a strong motivation behind, to prove others wrong, but has got dangerous enough problems than we could just realize of. I am calling it dangerous because in proving others wrong, we are not actually doing it to just succeed in an argument rather try to belittle others, insult them and challenge their believe system (in worst cases). It makes me wonder, if we have really become that busy or have come far to just prove to others our worth or get acceptance and validation of personal believes, gain respect instead of earning it, show it to all we are different more than averages and fight to cause harm to others. And the more tragic part is, we instead of trying something better and productive, that wouldn’t be for whole country but just for ourselves perhaps, live whole lives this way.
There are some of us who use wealth, education, status, achievements, prettiness, confidence etc. to feel worthy and complete in ourselves. I consider it better (if not harmful for others), as in there we are less likely to prove others wrong and enjoy living.
I also have felt being the victim of it sometimes as I literally had to prove myself too to others, many a times. I had to work hard and secure position when I was studying at BUITEMS, because perhaps it’s just us who have set certain criteria to fit in and get along in these so called artificially modern societies, else we don’t exist! Slowly and gradually when I started realizing what I was doing was just to prove to others I was capable of everything they do. And in doing so, I was losing my charm and I actually felt myself being in some race. I wanted to stand with pride in front of everyone and I pictured myself “impressive” many a times just to hear applause, hear “Yeah! we were wrong…” or “I knew she can do it…” etc etc. I proudly say it today that I was wrong for it could make me much happier than I felt, if I did all of it for just myself as it was making my life, as simple as that. I took much time in realizing it, but it’s never too late to return. Tardy I know, but is true.
Keeping in mind that we are all commit mistakes in our lives and do things in wrong way as no one’s is perfect, we perhaps doubt others efforts too. But it does not really mean if something did not work for us, it won’t work for them too. If we fail at doing something, other might succeed in it, but we take this concept very wrong and don’t feel happy for others success and instead of appreciating them we try to bring in our definition of its success. That might also be not because of jealousy but because of our past related experiences but we should bear in mind that the moment we spit words out of our mouths, we sometimes literally shatter others’ confidence they put into doing something in fact it gets jammed in mind and we feels hurtful for longer times.
So, what I have tried to say is that there’s nothing wrong to do things, hold different opinions, feel actually happy in pursuing our own interest, succeeding and feeling satisfied. But if we do it just to prove others wrong, we might win apparently but internally we fail because we compromise with the peace of mind, and also we leave a place for others to still find something and criticize. There will still be imperfection, and in us feeling of never ending emptiness and need for acceptance. So, the quest never ends if we don’t do something just being true versions of ourselves rather than wearing masks which people like us to be seen in.
This is a modern world no doubts, and we all are trying to go with the fast pace of it. We all are striving to fit in peoples’ meaning of success – sound career, luxurious living, large houses, beauty up to so on. For many years I believed the same definition of “actually living”, but then I realized being alive and successful is nothing more than being true to ourselves, be who Allah has created us like and pursue the right dreams. In years yet to come I see myself very successful, but that would never be to prove people my worth but only for I want to be successful. So, from now if you see yourself doing anything at the cost of your happiness, just step back, think honestly again and move rather towards your happy destination.