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The “Pachees” Syndrome by Rida Iqbal

People with a death threat have bucket lists. In Pakistan aunties reaching the age of pachees should do too. See, there is no light beyond the age of pachees. As soon as a girl hits 20, her final years start. She knows that she has to live (whatever little she can) before either she is married or hits the age of social/cultural death: 25

Now we all know people who straightforwardly considers a 25 aged aunty unmarried a “sin”, a “calamity” , a “devil’s working”.

They’ll marry their daughters to the highest bidder. “Ae wadda kaar, tay gari, tay zameenay shameenay” SOLD!

They’ll marry their daughters without their consent. Because they know better. (If only they knew their daughters better.

Even the most educated and liberal of people would start worrying and opt for rishta aunties. Parade their daughters in front of strange uncles, aunties. All our life we are told not to talk to strangers until one day we are forced to model in front of hundreds. And to sleep with one is after all a different story entirely.

We tell our daughters that they should be fair skinned. They should have nice hair, one hell of a sexy physique (because that is what marriages are all about after all). And that they should know to “shutup”.

They are ready to send off their daughter with tons and tons of dowries. “Acha rishta hath se na jaye”. The thing is if it were a “acha rishta”, dowry and modeling and plastics would not have been an issue from the start.

Parents themselves have lowered the bar so much, for their daughters. It’s like “bas koi le jaye, jaan choot jaye, azaab talay”. And I know parents love their kids, but the way they handle the whole marriage fiasco, proves otherwise.

Parents do all this out of desperation so that their daughters do not reach the age of 25 and stay unmarried. Our logic is “shohar k ghar mei bhalay tannay paray, khanay ko na milay, izat na ho, din mei chaar bat galiyan sunay, mara khaye laken beti apnay ghar ki hojaye” because marriage is important. The aftermath never is.

So, if you are a girl, unmarried,  25 or above. I feel for you.

Those pitiful stares, those judgmental looks, those constant questions. And those “chalees saal k twice dviorced mardon k rishtay”. I feel for you.

Even if they do get married, those comments like “shukar hai ab bhi hogae, warna ghalat bat hoti” or “aj is k maa baap ko sakoon hoga”.

Thank you such people, you prayers paid off and girls of pachees got married!

If anything woman of 25 and above is more graceful, more decent, more intelligent, more experienced, and more mature. And no one turns infertile on their 25th birthday or 50th for that matter.

The only cure for the “pachees” syndrome is within our selves.Find it.

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yumna Iftikhar

yumna Iftikhar