Trust Issues: presenting version 2.0
Yes, I am a human being. I go to the same type of institution like everyone else does; I wear the same clothes and eat food originating from the same source. My hands are what I use when I write or cook or pick something up. When I sleep, I, too, close my eyes. I have the same necessities as you. But what makes you so different, which makes me lose trust in your existence?
I hate to break it to you, but you don’t really know how to act in front of me. I come to you every day, bursting with wonderful stories that I have gathered all day. And all I want to do is transfer all of my ideas and fairytales to you, but you destroy all my enthusiasm with just the flick of your hand and a scornful expression. You tell me quite calmly that all of it doesn’t even matter, even though you have not listened to any of it.
And you move on, without even reconsidering for a second that what you are doing is a tad bit indifferent.
Lack of Respect
You are keen on being special to me and you prefer staying in my good books. But what you don’t realize is; there is no need to insult the choices of the person you want to get close to. If you want to get close to someone, listen to the advices they present in your interest. You should know that you don’t need to give the impression that I come from a lower species. It isn’t fair to have your devotion exchanged with rude, snide comments. And that is exactly what you do.
Sometimes, a better part of me lies awake at night and wonders whether you realize that you don’t actually know how to respect someone.
In the dead of the night, I come to you with my bottled secrets, netted nightmare and a fear of the skeletons in my closet. I want to get this burden off my chest as soon as possible and listen to what you have to say about it. I want words of comfort and advice to help me out of this situation.
But it breaks me, when I see the disbelieving expression on your face. A new light dawns in your eyes, which clearly shows that you suddenly see me as a new kind of animal.
It hurts even more when you use it as a tool against me, when you are mad or angry.
And for the rest of my life, I will always see you as a potential threat to the fantasies that make me up.
Don’t break my trust
I am a normal person and live with the same emotions as you. The feeling of guilt dwells in me too, and I beg for forgiveness the same way you do. When it is time to celebrate, I rejoice with a most human-like happiness. When you and I are the same, what can possibly give you the authority to treat me differently?
You must see me as another you, if you want to respect me. It is important that you understand basic human emotions for you to understand my emotions. You should keep in mind your own imperfections if you wish to accept mine. A whole new world exists in my mind; if you want to get to know me, you must let me show you this world.
Learn to appreciate my existence and let me trust you.
Kashmala Adil QaziShare